Why I Write

The unpaid content on this site is split into two main categories - Lessons & Talks, and the Blog. The value of the former section is likely quite evident. It has a specific focus, aimed at helping musicians progress against the respective lesson topics (much like any online education platform). But what is the purpose of this blog? Of posts like these? Why do I write? Why do I share them?

I write for myself.

Writing brings the internal world of thoughts, insights, and current state of mind to the external, “real” world. And it can be the first step to implementing and applying change. This is why journaling can be such a powerful tool.

Thoughts, on their own, are little more than nothing. If we "think a thought" (or notice one) but do not react to it in any way (consciously or unconsciously), nor ever return to it again, what more is it than a byproduct of the mind and conscious experience? Much like heat from an engine. But writing is creation - it captures thought and gives it a “tangible” form. The words can still be erased, destroyed, or overwritten if needed. But until that happens, they exist in reality. Just like any other piece of art.

I write as a reminder to my self. To capture the essence of a lesson, insight, or moment of inspiration.

I write for personal enjoyment. While I don't consider myself a "writer", I do find pleasure and comfort in the act of writing. Who knows, maybe deep down it's simply fulfilling the ego's desire for control. It can be a useful processing tool for solutions and clarity. It can be therapeutic and grounding. It can be creative and playful. It can be written, only to be let go of. Not all writing is for the eyes of another. Not all writing is even for the eyes of the writer.

I write for my own growth. Because I understand that there is a degree of vulnerability in sharing a piece or representation of your mind or body with the internet, in whatever capacity. And, at least for now, I find that writing is an easy outlet for creative expression. I understand that it has the potential to invoke the same emotional responses and insights (in both the creator and the observer) as just about any other art form.

I write to heal. To give my parts and my experiences a "voice" and form, in a place outside of my mind. To take the first actionable step at sharing their stories. To set free the things that I kept hidden for so many years.

I write for my own curiosity and exploration. To capture theories. To learn what works and to see what doesn't, not knowing what might come from it. Simply to observe what happens. I may go back and realize that I was missing a key aspect of the thought. Or that what I had theorized in the moment was either total fantasy or inconsiderate and excluding to another. But such is the process with any art. You learn to capture some representation of what is channeled through you, at the moment in time that it captures your attention. Otherwise it may never come back. Captured ideas can always be disposed of or reworked...but some fleeting thoughts are like lightning - they rarely hit the same spot.

Fear is the killer of creativity. It cuts us off from the realm of possibility. To not explore our potential out of fear (i.e. of failure or judgement) is to remain stagnant, imprisoned.

We are not what we think (thoughts are little more than nothing). We are not what we say (actions speak louder than words). We are not even what we've done. We are simply the totality of our experience, existing in the present moment. From moment to moment. We become our habits. What we practice. What we repeat. And I've lived enough of my life in fear already to not continue with fearful habits.

I write for myself. But I share these writings for others.

Because for a really long time, I was lost. And as I continue to come to terms with new parts of my narrative, and make deeper, more complete sense of old ones, I experience an ever-growing gratitude. Gratitude for being able to exist, as I am, in this present moment. And to have found myself. Before I strayed any farther, multiplied my fear any further, or existed in a way that led to more suffering.

So I share for others. In the possibility that it resonates with or provides support to another. Because there are so many people that feel lost and are becoming lost. And as amazing of a blessing and gift modern technology and virtual connection are, the internet is a place where lost people turn to escape the "real" world. So if even only one is inspired to take a little additional space and time to come back to themselves, the reward is priceless and its reach, exponential. Creativity is a net-positive.