When there is more than we have time for

Life is a crazy thing to think about, when you really take it all in. So is time. And so are our relationships to it, both perceived and otherwise. As time and technology move forward, we as a society are evermore frequently faced with the predicament of how to handle the problem of "more".

More options, more possibilities, more to miss out on, more stimuli, more work, more to do, more pressure to do more, be more, have more, want more...and the only thing that there's seemingly less and less of is time. Time for any of it. The world of opportunity that we live in is a blessing, a curse, and like many things, entirely dependent on how we choose to navigate the waters.

To paint a picture of how much "more" we have access to today, the totality of data in the world is doubling roughly every two years. To put that in context - the amount of data produced over the last few years is greater than all previously data recorded in the history of our existence...combined. To spin that practically, consider how technology has evolved over the history of your life. From cassettes, VHSs, floppy discs (that's the "Save" icon, for the Gen Z'ers), and landlines, to CDs, DVDs, jump drives, cell phones, and chat rooms, to streaming, more streaming, cloud storage, smart devices, and social media. It's an exponential leviathan, created and fed by the most brilliant of minds (now, both breathing and binary). A beast that, while many would argue adds so much value to our lives, is designed with the objective of keeping us engaged and consuming more.

But what to actually do about it? About there being more to see, experience, and do than you'll ever have time for? Well, the quick and dirty, short and obvious answer is to prioritize. But how?

A great starting point to effective prioritization is to first take a brief moment to stop mindlessly engaging with the world of endless distraction that has been thrust upon us. Whether at the micro or the macro, this is the proverbial "stopping the bleeding" - the bleeding of our focus and attention that has been brought on by the blade of distraction, disguised as need and opportunity. Only once we've taken back the reigns of control can we consciously move towards happiness and fulfillment in the "best" order.

Now here come the real keys - begin to capture what is currently on your mind, as well as whatever comes up as you begin to process some of the backlog of stimuli you've already been subject to.

For capturing, you need some place to offload and store your thoughts. It can be anything you have access to at the time however, I strongly recommend using some kind of digital note-taking system (any kind of "Notes" app should be more than enough). That way you can not only copy and paste, but easily edit, move, share, and organize anything that you capture. What are we capturing? Anything that you need to do and anything you perceive as "worth it". Insights, creative ideas, etc. Any ideas or mental items to revisit can be kept in separate notes however, the to-do's are intentionally structured. For the to-do's, the focus is on one-off tasks and anything you may possibly forget (i.e. errands, random questions to research, or tasks to accomplish your goals), rather than anything that is already habitual and accounted for (i.e. brushing your teeth, going to work, or picking up the kid), and I'd recommend one central document for listing them all.

Now within that central document, you want to have two separate lists: 1. a list of bullets for anything and everything that you eventually want to get to and 2. another list of bullets of the handful of items from that first list that you need to take care of "now". "Now" can be whatever fits your situation however, the busier you are, the shorter the recommended duration. A "rule of thumb" is to not make a habit of having more than 10 items on the "now" list. Too many items and you lose the focus and benefit of declaring it a priority. The benefit of the first list is that it serves as a singular "hold-over" location for all of the actions that you need to take, which used to be scattered across multiple places (one of which being your mind), while the second is a reminder of the most important actions that you need to take. As mentioned, I keep both lists within the same note, and I actually keep the "current" list at the top of the note, above the "backlog". That way, whenever adding something to the backlog, I can evaluate it against my current priorities and see if it should be added or replace one.

Hopefully having a process and system for your "needs" helps free up some of your valuable available mental bandwidth so that you can move on to processing some of your more insightful thoughts.

Sometimes those little micro moments of reflection are all we need to break the trance, restore clarity and perspective, and effectively regain command of our ship. And other times, we're far beyond a trance - we're fully hypnotized, totally brainwashed, unaware of just how deep the webs of the various stimuli and mental conditioning that are puppeteering us actually go. It's in these times that we need something a little stronger than a routine check-in. We need a temporary reprogramming to help us act on what we may not yet truly see or believe in the moment. That's where reframing comes in. Being open to consider looking at things in a different light can allow us the opportunity to explore other possibilities. It can give us "aha" moments that catch a glimpse at the unconscious agendas of our own subconscious and beliefs for what they really are. After all, how can we be sure we're truly prioritizing the right stuff if we're unknowingly being influenced by something (or someone) else?

So if you're reading this, and you feel that there is too much going on in life right now, that there isn't enough time for it all, then this is for you. If something inside of you feels resistant to this then that is a signal - this is especially for you. Please take a moment for yourself now. Even if just for a minute or two.

Try (ironically) not to force anything during this time. And when you're ready, see if you can let go of any tension. Close your eyes, take a breath, feel what's going on in your body, and relax. We want to focus specifically on the body however, if important thoughts arise (like a to-do you've forgotten 5 times already, or the "perfect" addition to a cretive piece), quickly capture them in your system and then return to focusing on the body. Let go of any thoughts that arise (that aren't going to give you serious regret to let go of) and come back to what you're feeling in your body. If any thoughts or resistances (in your mind or body) arise around this being a waste of time, seeming foolish, if you're doing it right, or when this is going to end, see if you can gently let them go as well. If you can comfortably breathe deeper (whether it be in your chest, stomach, or a combination of both), do so. Capture insights and hang out in this space you've created for as long as it feels good to you.

If you were able to let go of any memories that had been replaying in your head, or of any worries, to-dos, or anticipations of the future, even if only for a moment, and instead feel what was going on in or around you, then congrats - that was a reminder as to what it feels like to be in the present. If this was the first time you've given yourself a break like this in quite some time (maybe ever) then it may have been pretty difficult to let go of the seemingly endless torrent of thoughts. Regardless of the last time you've given yourself a break, try not to judge if you did have a difficult time. It's not our fault if we weren't aware of something. And there are many possible and probable explanations for it, both at the micro and macro. It could simply be situational - a stressful or exciting day or week, or an active time of day for our brains. It could also be due, in part, to a habitual nature of us letting our minds run the show, or taking too passive of a back seat in filtering the distractions and other stimuli that come our way, in which cases a tough time is exactly what we'd expect to happen - not many people start any skill already great at it. But the simple realization that we're not where we'd like to be with a skill that's as critical and powerful as paying attention to what is going on in our mind is the wake-up call, we just need to give ourselves more time to settle in and explore what is already there.

Now, what if you didn't find any peace, calm, or joy in the moment you took? Or what if you didn't take a moment at all? How does this play into not having enough time or getting more out of my time? "I came here because I don't have enough time, and here you're wanting me to waste more of it on 'doing nothing'?!"

Well, to bring things back to today's fast-paced world - we are constantly bombarded with tasks and responsibilities. We have work deadlines, family obligations, social commitments, and personal goals. It seems like there is never enough time to get everything done. And that's because there's not. But it's easy to be misled into thinking that there is because we live in a society that thrives off the misbelief that you can have it all - if you have the money, or "success", or looks, or connections for it. Remember the beginning of this post? More...

So in an attempt to try and get these things (or to get them quicker), we become so focused on the future and the "next thing". The next episode, the next season, the next like, the next date, the next raise, the next compliment, the next trend, the next success. Or on finding the shortcuts to life (so that we can live "better" or easier), or the experts' "secrets" (so that we can have mastery in a domain). We try being more "productive", getting things done quickly, and getting more things checked off our to-do list so that we can, in turn, do even more. Usually all in hopes that someday, we will be free to do what we truly enjoy.

But what is the cost of this constant drive for more? We may be able to accomplish more in a shorter amount of time (or at least feel like it), but at what expense? Our mental and physical well-being often suffer as a result. We may be so distracted that we become unaware of our own needs or the needs of people we care about. We push ourselves to the limit, often sacrificing sleep, exercise, nutrition, and/or relaxation in the pursuit of more. When we get in the habit of and normalize neglecting these key pillars of physical and mental health, it becomes harder to recognize the issues ourselves. There is a scary amount of research on the effects of sleep deprivation alone.

We get stuck in the cyclical mindset that today is little more than an expendable step to be used in getting closer to tomorrow. That today is the prep work for our future. And the more "prep work" we accomplish, the more work there seems to be ahead. We become so obsessed with getting x, so that we can have y, so that we can get z (all the way down an alphabetical rabbit hole) that we lose track of the hours, days, and years, and ultimately often lose sight of what we wanted in the first place...what really matters (or mattered). We become programmed and conditioned to prioritize quantity over quality and perceived success over real happiness. We sacrifice the present moment for a future lottery - one that is rarely as magnificent as we imagined. We learn the price of everything and the value of nothing, and in wanting it all, we end up with nothing. That is a tragic portrayal of the mainstream status quo.

A powerful rule-of-thumb reminder for how we relate to the future is to plan for it but not live for it.

And sorry if that got a bit dark. In a perfect world, none of it would resonate. But chances are, at least some of it was relatable. Because it's nearly impossible to escape the gravitational pull of the external world in our modern life if you are anywhere near a city or internet connection. But life doesn't have to be that way. And like I said, it's a blessing of convenience, knowledge, opportunity, and novelty while simultaneously, a dangerously cursed vortex of obsession, anxiety, ignorance, and overwhelm. It just depends on how we navigate it. And if we dig deep enough to the root of virtually every goal, aspiration, and desire, we'll usually find a want for happiness.

But take a moment to consider if there is truly a difference between the present "now" and a future "now"? When that future time comes, will we treat it any differently than we are treating the present moment if we have the same habits, mindsets, beliefs, and values?

Similarly, is there truly a difference between the present "now" and any past "now"? Has the expected progress of x number of months or years been made yet? Are you happy with how things are going? Have you enjoyed the journey even if you're not at your desired destination?

There are always going to be more emails to attend to, virtually endless social media threads, targeted ads and content, new things to learn, people to see and catch up with, errands to run, things to do, and novelties to experience. It's important to remember that our worth is not determined by our productivity or how others perceive us. After all, we're human beings, not human doings. Taking time to rest, relax, and enjoy life and our relationships are just as important as accomplishing tasks. So why not prioritize some space for ourselves so that we can navigate both what we need to do and would love to do today with greater clarity, presence, awareness, and happiness?